Yesterday, I made the drive to downtown San Diego where I was to file Articles of Incorporation for Entertainment Media Council. In my first visit to the Secretary of State, I found that credit cards are accepted for paying fees for everything except the fees for filing the Articles.

Since I had left my checkbook at home, I had to force march (read: stumble) five blocks, beneath the desert Sun in flip-flops, to the nearest credit union. After stumbling back, I completed the paperwork to file the Articles, but of course, you cannot make copies of the Articles at the Secretary of State; you have to walk down the hall to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Anyway, I eventually filed the Articles and paid the fees with temporary checks.

During my return to the parking lot, I observed a flock of pigeons who had decided to camp next to the parking-ticket dispenser. I clapped. I made some animal sounds. I was just playing, trying to get the pigeons to fly away like they do in the movies! But they didn’t budge. There was a single pigeon atop the car parked next to me. I stood between that car and the driver’s side of mine, inhaled, and blew at the pigeon, which proceeded to flutter to the ground. Success!

Okay, I thought. Time to go. I backed out and made a U-turn to exit the lot. As I began to exit, suddenly a horde of pigeons flew at my car and past my open windows. I looked in my rear-view mirror, and several pigeons had landed on my trunk. The pigeon I had “encouraged” to the ground was perched in the middle, staring directly at me! They wanted revenge, I tell you!

The pigeons had made their point. Word of advice: do not screw with the pigeons in downtown San Diego. They are aggressive and likely members of pigeon gangs, who will stop at nothing to ensure that parked cars are their domain! Beware!